Self-Talk Self-Check

Have you ever considered what makes someone your best friend? It may be something you haven’t thought a lot about since childhood. After all, as an adult, we often find ourselves in situations where we have co-workers as friends, or our kids have parents with whom we’re friendly. If you’re lucky, you’ve maintained a few friendships for years. The kind you don’t really have to work on because it’s just been so long, you know everything about them, and them you. Maybe the best thing about those friends is that they’re always there for you.

Now, consider this. Are you the type of person that makes a good bestie? What qualities do you possess that others want in their best friend? Are you:

Considerate     Respectful     Positive     Honest

Trustworthy     Empathetic     Nice      Upbeat     Encouraging

    Sincere      Compassionate     Fun     Devoted

It’s a good question to think about. You’re probably all of these things and more when it comes to befriending others. How about when it comes to you, though? If you’re honest about it, when is the last time you made sure to put a smile on your face by being kind to yourself? When you mess up at work or forget something what do you say to yourself? How do you make it all better for your inner you?

Become aware of word choice when you talk to yourself.

The bottom line is you have to work with yourself the way you work with others. Next time you find yourself getting mad that you’re not doing what you need to, listen to what you are telling yourself. Would you talk to your mother with that mouth?

No, seriously, would you say these words to your best friend? And, if you did, how would he or she feel? Not doing what you should isn’t making you feel half as bad as what you say about not doing it and feeling bad could be shutting you down.

Now, don’t mistake this to mean that you can lie to yourself and get away with some bad behavior. Instead, use caring words and a soothing tone asking, “What’s going on? Do you feel pressured? How can I do things differently next time?”

Practice using positive labels. For example, instead of a fat slob call yourself a massive hunk of love or a fabulous, fun foodie!

I Recommend Louise Hay’s work for Positive Self-Talk Tools:

When you begin to break the cycle of negativity, realize you’ll probably need a little help. The way you self-relate became a habit over a long period of time. We know that breaking a habit is near impossible…but creating new ones to replace them aren’t. It just takes persistence. And after a while, you’ll have trained that “nasty” inner voice positive self-talk! Now, I know some of you think this is hokey, but try it; your ability to create breakthroughs for yourself depends on you!

Join Us in the See in ADHD Facebook Group