ADHD can be so confounding because it’s not just about attention or deficit or disorder. It can seem like the double side of a coin, with one side being the worst of some aspect and the other side, the very best aspect of that same quality. It can mystify and have events seem serendiptitious.
There is a certain serendipity to Salif’s story. In a video submitted for his school’s Serendipity in Science (see below), Salif Mahamane spoke of his experience studying environments and attention in grad school while unknowingly having ADHD. In fact, it was during this same time when his girlfriend, in an unrelated way, learned of the condition and told him, thus, leading to his diagnosis.
In this episode he shares his goal of creating an inclusive group about neurodiversity at his university next Fall.
Salif’s Awesome Quote:
It’s just not helpful to hear
when somebody says,
“Well, everyone else in the world does it THIS way.”
Double Side of ADHD
Salif shares his observations about the double side of ADHD based off his own experience. He’s hip to the duality the condition seemingly brings out in people and how that affects his relationships, as a partner, a father, a coworker, and friend. After all, it’s hard to explain that yes, you are earning a doctoral degree in psychology and yes, you don’t notice when there’s dirty dishes piled on the countertop.
He’s definitely figuring it all out, and in our time together, he’s very open and optimistic that he can help affect positive change around the stigma surrounding ADHD, now that he’s aware he has it.
~ Jennie
Salif’s Talks:
I am a high school teacher of ESOL students. I teach 9th and 10th graders. I have ADHD. My greatest fear is of not recognizing it – or dyslexia – in my students, and treating them or responding to them inappropriately, thereby causing them emotional pain or withdrawal. I would love to find a source that could directly, simply and SPECIFICALLY help me understand how to teach students with ADHD. Would you be have any suggestions for me? Also, you say how your ADHD affects your partner and son. What do you mean? How does it affect them? Again, if you could direct me to some sources of information on this, I would appreciate it immensely. THank you.
Hi Ann,
Thanks for your question, I will pass it along to Salif.
🙂 Jennie
Hi Ann,
I’m a teacher now too (college students) and I don’t stress too much about knowing for sure whether they have a diagnosis or not. There are a lot of traits that go along with ADHD and, if people have those traits, I tend to help them in class the same way, whether or not I know whether they have ADHD. When students approach me saying they have a hard time paying attention in class, for example, I can suggest things like their own gamification of the class whether or not it’s ADHD and that can still help. If they do have ADHD and have documentation, they can get accommodations through the school’s disability resource office for extra test time, or to take tests in a private room with a proctor (sometimes the excess noise from 30 other people flipping pages is too much for them to maintain focus on the exam). So, my personal model is one of erring on the side of compassion. I’d rather be too accommodating than not accommodating enough. That is not to say “easy” in my courses, but validating and acknowledging of students personal struggles and taking the time to creatively problem solve with them and allow them to try unique, sometimes unconventional, learning strategies in my courses.
With respect to how ADHD affects my wife and son, it pretty much affects them in every aspect of life (my son has ADHD too). For example, I forget to do basic chores consistently and then my wife feels like she either has to nag (which she hates doing because it doesn’t feel nice) or pick up my slack (which she hates doing because she wants to feel like she’s not alone in all of our family management responsibilites). I don’t plan ahead very well so she does most of the budgeting, planning, etc. and I have learned from her how to be more responsible and less impulsive in these aspects of life, but I’m still not as good as her at it. So, she often feels alone in responsibilities etc. Given the intense emotions that people with ADHD feel, when my son and I are both very irritable, that obviously makes her life harder. He’s still pretty young so he doesn’t necessarily regulate his own emotions very well and, when he acts up, I struggle to keep my cool sometimes and get frustrated rather than help to calm him down by staying calm. I’m also finishing a PhD, but my ADHD makes it hard for me to stick to a consistent work/life balance schedule and, when I put things off, my wife ends up single parenting and my son (again, because of ADHD) constantly wants novel and exciting things to do and she has to keep up with that on her own if I’m frantically working because I procrastinated.
I don’t mean for that to sound so negative, but your question was about how it affects them. We are actually doing very well in general right now and it’s an everlasting process of improvement as we learn how to have a home that feels like home where we all feel like we belong in spite of our neurodiversity. But, I honestly can’t see how having ADHD could not affect people you are close to.
Thanks for the question!
Best,
Salif
Also, here is a good teaching resource for ADHD students…
https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/learning/learning_disabilities/teacher/#.WmJ5g00rLcs